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Just published: Martha Treat #182
A Habit Worth Quitting
Dividing our attention is simply a habit that is learned and developed and defended as necessary and not a big deal. I have discovered just how big a deal it is!
I am proud to say that this week I finally and successfully completed my 33 consecutive days of not multitasking while on the phone with friends. It took me many stops and starts to get to 33 days in a row, the number of days I am told can change a habit. My unconscious habit of just handling things while talking to a friend would slip in before I would catch it. I was diligent about calling myself on it immediately, with expletives-deleted. And then I would start over at day one. It was humbling as I can usually commit to doing something and not miss a day. In this case I honestly couldn’t do it. It became funny at one point and then I realized that there is nothing funny about splitting my attention.
I am more committed than ever to quitting this habit.
I recently coached a new client who before we started the session had one thing they needed to finish. But they felt compelled to talk to me simultaneously. I let it go on for a while observing the disturbance in my body as they continued to talk and work. It became clear that to stop and simply focus on one thing and letting go of everything else is not easy for them. Their habit is to try to be available to everything every minute and to try to do it all at once which is actually not possible. But we tell ourselves it is and perpetuate the myth.
Another client was asking about how to address all the multiple creative projects in which they want to be involved. I was encouraging them to focus on the one or two projects that use their gifts. I said to them “when you are doing too many things, no one can find you.” It stopped her in her tracks as she experienced the truth of that for her. Then she insisted I write it down and put it in a Treat.
When we divide our attention by spreading ourselves thin and multi-tasking we tend to diminish who we truly are. The people we work with and the people we love want and deserve the fullness of our attention and our creative presence. But more than that I deserve and you deserve the fullness of our own attention.
Martha Invitations
1. Watch your habitual patterns that might not be serving you and choose one to address.
2. Stop when you notice your attention is split and experience what it feels like inside of you.
3. If a friend is not giving you their full intention, let them know that you value them and would really like to be with them without the distractions.
Martha
virginia@msia.org
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Read Previous Treats:
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2017
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2016
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Treat #181 Eclipse of Action
Treat #180 Forgive Me for Multitasking Treat #179 What are You Looking At? Treat #178 Are you Squishing Snails? Treat #177 Relaxing the Grip Treat #176 All the Time in the World Treat #175 When is Enough . . . Enough Treat #174 Engaging Yourself to Completion |
Treat #173 A Kink in the Works
Treat #172 What's Stopping You? Treat #171 All of Ours to Do Treat #170 Attitude Adjustment Treat #169 IN Consciousness Treat #168 Completing Past our Reactions Treat #167 Keep Your Dog Leash Treat #166 The Essential Piece Treat #165 Day is Done Treat #164 Do-Nothing Time Treat #163 Curbside Calm Treat #162 Pile-Up |
